It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize