The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
