he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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