i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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