dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
