I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
