Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I can't turn off my feet"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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