YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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