My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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