We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
