dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
