He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
