My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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