You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
