You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
