That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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