i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
