now i know why i became what i already was.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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