Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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