You just made me feel so damn special
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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