Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
