In the future we'll all be gay
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
