I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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