there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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