i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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