You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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