Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize