actually, I'm a sock model
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
