it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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