i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
