is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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