Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
