i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
where are my eyebrows?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
