You smell like stripper and shame
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
