He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
