Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
