Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
40s are totally the cure
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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