Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
