well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
