I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
