His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
