I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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