i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
