Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
