We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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