i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
