i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
