You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
