Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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