I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
