you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
