all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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