I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize