I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
now i know why i became what i already was.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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