She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
