yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
