I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
